Working Through Divorce Mediation

Life has been a struggle lately, especially between you and your spouse. It’s gotten to the point where divorce seems like the best solution. The entire process is confusing if you don’t have the right representation.

One of the options is divorce mediation, where the couple decides what is best for them and for their children, if they exist. A neutral third party offers assistance, with the hope that the couple can end the marriage as amicably and cost effectively as possible.

What is Discussed During Mediation?

One of the reasons a mediator is used during divorce mediation is the discussion could become heated if it isn’t done right. The couple must be willing to set aside some of their difficulties for the best of their children. The topics talked about are:

• Child Custody and Parenting Time
• Retirement
• Distribution of Property (Liabilities/Assets)
• Child Support/Maintenance
• Taxes

During the process, the couple makes decisions on these issues. The mediator helps with the process and at times will intervene.

Mediators Play an Important Role

Agreeing doesn’t always come easily, because usually the couple has been dealing with hard feelings. It helps when the divorce mediation is led by an understanding, competent mediator. Their job is to help the couple move through the process by brainstorming ideas, keeping communication lines open, reality testing the man and woman, assisting in the decision-making process, and teaching patience and empathy. One of the main goals is to keep the couple focused so they don’t go down the wrong track, especially by participating in negative activities like name-calling, arguing, or bringing up bad memories.

“I truly appreciate the extra time and effort you put forth during two difficult and stress inducing situations. The first, when my mortgage was about to be delayed and interest rates about to rise, due to my husband’s delay in completing paperwork, and you went out of your way to prepare the necessary documents and meet me to obtain them.”

- Linda S., divorcelawandmediation.com

Working Together

The entire process is confidential and flexible. It provides your spouse and you with a legal way to settle marriage conflicts, while showing you the importance of working together to decide the best solution for your children.

The reason is the children will still be interacting with your ex-spouse even after divorce. It isn’t an easy situation, but it helps when people do their best to get along until everything has been completed.

“I found that my ex-husband and I dealt with things in a mature fashion and remain good friends and good parents.”

- L.S., www.alpha-divorce.com

How Long Does Divorce Mediation Take?

The length of divorce mediation depends on if any issues have been decided ahead of time. It also depends on the couple’s willingness to work together. When couples make it hard for each other and it leads to arguments, this becomes time-consuming. On average, mediation can be completed in four to ten sessions. Sometimes an agreement won’t happen and then mediation isn’t an option. Then it has to be litigated in court.

What Is the Difference Between Mediation and Litigation?

Mediation is going to cost a lot less then a litigated case. It’s also going to take a lot less time.

The other difference between the two situations is things that take place in a courtroom are public domain. This means anyone can hear the details of your broken marriage, while divorce mediation is private, confidential, and is completed behind closed doors.

There also aren’t any attorneys complicating the process, which is why it’s usually best to handle a divorce through mediation – it’s a lot less time and a lot less money. It’s better for everyone!